shyjot.com

Until Next Time…Part 3

As the thoughts from the two previous post have simmered in my head, this Part 3 came to mind. Another angle on the same subject does exist. It goes hand in hand with Part 2 coming full circle back to Part 1.

You have to be aware of my fondness for wise sayings if you have read many of my blogs. Here’s another one for you to ponder. “If you don’t do it, you will never know what would have happened had you tried.” I know there have been many times in my life that I have come to the proverbial crossroads and had to make a decision on which path to travel. Haven’t you found yourself there wondering  what would happen if you went to the right or the left?

I have used different strategies to determine the answer. Some decisions were made out of fear, some out of pride, others out of despair. As I have grown and matured, more of my path taking decisions are based on hope, desire, and self-awareness.

These wise words go along with Part 2 because it says that you will never again be at this exact place at this exact moment with this exact decision to be made. Prepare for it as you may, you will never know if it was the best decision at that time. We all speculate what might have been. Dozens of movie are made with the premice that someone gets to have a do-over. But that’s the movie and real life doesn’t work that way.

Which brings us to how it circles back to Part 1. The facts of life are that we only find depression and grief when we live in the world of what ifs. We come to understand that each crossroad is an opportunity that will take us to the next crossroad. Next time we come to that spot, we have knowledge we didn’t have before that we can draw on to make the next decision.

Wherever you are on life’s journey, face each crossroad experience with the idea that you will be a better person because of your experience. I also encourage you to use all resources available to you. Talk to people you trust. Research the path. Most of all listen to your heart.

Until next time…

Who made you do it?

It is time for another saying. This one is not one I live by, but one many people do.

“The devil made me do it.” Or the company, my spouse, my boss, the lady down the street, the man driving beside me.

Now before you think, ‘I would never have that attitude’, let’s visit a little. Most people consider themselves to be honest. Don’t you? What you see is what you get and all that. Consider this: as a society things that would have just been the wrong thing to do not so many years ago are not even noticed. Taking the wrong change thinking they should have been more careful. It’s not my fault they can’t count. Speeding until a cop is seen hiding around the corner. Telling a lie about anything – usually to benefit self in some small way.
Someone has to be responsible for everything that happens to me besides me. Walk into a room and ask, “Who was suppose to…?” Fill in the blank with clean the bathroom, put paper in the copier, or any of the other hundreds of actions that could go there. Then watch the finger pointing start. Very few will ever step up to say that was my job this week or that wasn’t my job, but I will take care of it. Aren’t we thankful for those people?

It is extremely difficult to be a trustworthy, honest, truthful person in today’s world. We are surrounded by people on every hand that would lead us to believe it is ok to fudge a little on things. They provide all sorts of justifications for doing something that we might question. Sometimes we let our eyes be clouded for a while by the persuasive argument only later to regret that decision.

The question is ‘who controls you?’ It is time to stand up to responsibility. Be courageous and don’t be pulled along by every wind that blows your way. Stand for what you know is right. You will sleep better at night and our world will be a better place.

Until next time…

Same Thing, Same Way

“Insanity is doing the same thing in the same way and expecting different results.”

I do not know who to give credit for most of the phrases I have written in my mind and heart as life principles. I do know who brought them to me usually. This one has been presented to me in various ways at various times in my life. I am certain you are familiar with the saying also.

There are many versions, but this is my current favorite. We understand that in a mathematical equation that you always get the same result to the same problem. There are many areas of existence that we know this to be true. It eludes us in other areas of life.

A woman dates the same type man and the relationship ends the same way. A worker does a job the same way but doesn’t receive a raise. A parent reacts the same way to unacceptable behavior; the child continues behaving the same way. You get the idea. You can probably name several yourself.

As in the fables of old, there is a moral. If you are receiving the same unwanted results, do something different or do the same thing in a different way. The results will surprise you.

After all, we can’t change others. We can only change ourselves and our attitude. People react to those changes. Keep looking to yourself and what you can and will change in order to change the results to a more positive conclusion.

This even works if you’re just in a rut of always taking the same route, eating at exactly the same time, etc. Try changing something small and see what happens.

Have a great day. I’m off to a birthday party.

Singing Pigs

Singing Pigs?!? Did you ever hear of such a thing? No and you probably won’t either.

I spent many hours several years back with a friend that often would say, “Never try to teach a pig to sing. It annoys the pig and waste your time.”

Now why would she say such a thing? Because she had learned through the years that try as you may, you can’t teach someone something that they don’t want to learn. Trying to do so only annoys them and waste your time.

Have you ever known someone that fits this category? Sure you have. Everyone has. It is most frustrating to deal with this type of person. It is a pretty smug feeling to be right and know that this pig could sing just by following a few simple directions. You are just trying to help them out after all. There is no reason for them to be so annoyed.

The bigger question is: Have you ever been the pig? Whoops, did you just cringe? That answer isn’t so much fun. Each of us has been the one that was stubborn, argumentative, and annoyed by someone trying to teach us to sing.

Now everyone has limitations on their abilities but that is not this discussion. Is it actually possible for a pig to sing? I don’t know, but I do know they are not the most cooperative animals around.

Maybe if today is the day you choose to be a pig, you could just open your mind a little and try to sing. You just might discover talents you never knew you had. Maybe you discover you don’t really have a talent for singing but you find enjoyment in the trying. Maybe repeating this saying as teacher or pig would help each person have a better attitude toward the situation.

Here’s hoping you stretch yourself this week and SING.

It is

“It is what it is.”

These little words floating softly through my head helps my sanity. Happenings occur sending me off in directions of “what ifs” and “maybes” that can lead me in futile scenarios about life. Once I calm down and listen to the reasonable voice in my head, it often whisper, “Don’t make more of this than there is. It is what it is. Take it for the truth it is and let go of the unhealthy imaginative ramblings of what it might be.”

There are some situations I can and should do something about. There are others that I can’t or shouldn’t do anything about. There are some I must stand up and face head on. These are easier than the ones that just are. There is nothing to do about them – except to accept them as they are.

I want to fix them. I want to be needed. I am lost when a thing exist that doesn’t need me to fix it.

But there is relief when I finally surrender to the fact that IT IS WHAT IT IS. So as I face each day I am determined to use my energy in making a difference where I can while not wasting my energy on those things that only need acceptance.

Writing Sample – Janie

The woman sat alone on a park bench. The hot, bright sun shined on her aging skin. Janie Clark was average height and a little overweight. Her graying hair glistened in the sunlight. She looked through her sparkling deep brown eyes at the people who have joined her in enjoying the park.

A young couple strolled by arm in arm the woman giggling as the man leans over whispering words meant only for her ears. A smile played on Janie’s lips as memories flash through her mind of times when she was the young woman. She couldn’t avoid watching as the man pulled his love closer with a quick squeeze. He was tall, slender man in his mid twenties. She was shorter, but also slender in her early twenties. They were a picture of love.

Janie knew love. She was Janie Rockwell until she met Joseph Clark. She couldn’t say it was “love at first sight” but it wasn’t many days before they were strolling along arm in arm as this couple before her now. Joseph had been her rock of stability, her guiding light through the storms of life, and her love of a lifetime since those early days.

Joe could also be described as average in height. He had put on a few pounds in recent years. She closed her eyes and saw him as he was the day they met; strong, healthy, and able to handle anything. Then there was a short flash of the Joe she had just left a few minutes ago in order to get some fresh air. He was laying in a hospital bed across the street from the park. Joe was alright now, but his illness had certainly given them a scare.

Janie sat there for the first time letting her thoughts flow freely and accepting the emotion that came with them. Tears started slowly running down her face. Soon they were coming quickly. She let them flow as freely as her thoughts until she had released the stress that had built up over the last days. Then she dried her tears, took a few deep breaths, and said a little prayer of thanksgiving.

Returning to the present, she once again looked around at the people taking a moment to think that each one was going through their own process of living life. As Janie sat there warmed by the sun finding contentment with her life, she remembered a motto that has guided her through many seasons. Even now, as she repeated the words over in her mind, they warm her as much as the sun. “I’m goin’ to live ’til I die.” That was what they were going to do, too, LIVE LIFE.

With a refreshed view on the world and life, she stood up with a smiling face that shined through her eyes. It was time to go see Joseph, pull him closer to her, and watch him smile as she whispers words for his ears only.

Mistakes

A wise young woman placed a small sign on her refrigerator that said, “Make new mistakes!” Little did she know that these three words that she put there as a reminder for herself would effect another person.

One day her mother was visiting and read the note. It was a turning point in this mother’s life. At first the words haunted her. Then they calmed her. Next she found peace and comfort in the words especially when the realization of how much her attitude was changing as she claimed these three little words written on a little piece of paper. Mom still made plenty of mistakes, but repeated the same mistakes fewer times. That brought an unexplainable sense of joy.

Thank you, Dear One, for those words.

This mother hopes you have someone in your life that has given you such a gift unknowingly. If you would like to use this blog to let them know the impact they have had on your life, you are welcome to do so. If not here, then let them know in another way.

Here’s hoping you only MAKE NEW MISTAKES from this time forward.

Life’s Highway

“Obstacles are the things you see when you take your eyes off the goal.” This little saying has carried me through many situations. It reminds me that we may not have control over what happens to us, but we do have control over how we react.

As we go through life, the road we travel has as many changes as any road we travel in a car. New views appear around each curve in the road. Sometime the view is one of such beauty that it takes one’s breathe away. Other times hazardous surprises await around the bend in the form of storms or animals in the road. The challenge is to maneuver through the hazards to reach the next point of pure joy.

I don’t know where you are on your highway of life, but I have been traveling through a country where the scenery changes rapidly. The hills and curves have brought happiness and peace mingled with sorrow and pain. The journey on each of life’s roads teaches beneficial lessons to be used on another road, at another time, in another place.

Whenever something pops up on life’s highway just lift your eyes a little above the horizon to see the goal you’re trying to reach. The obstacles seem to disappear from your site and the goal once more seems obtainable.